Dear Mr. Yankelevich:
We are writing to propose a new project to fill the gap in the demographic group of young adults.
As it was requested in the terms and conditions of the call, we thought of a reality show consisting of a musical competition, where teenagers from 12 to 18 years old will have the possibility to become their favourite singer or band for a day. And at the end of the season, the winner of the competition will be awarded with the chance to meet the artist he or she has chosen. The show’s title will be “Follow your star”.
The candidates will send an e-mail or video message explaining why they are their biggest fan and what it would mean to meet the singer. After the participants are chosen, in each chapter the teenagers will go through a transformation of their appearance to look more like the famous character. . At the same time, they will record a song and film the song´s music video.
When each programme is over, the videos will be uploaded to the social media, where the viewers will be able to vote their favourite one. At the end of the season, the video that gets the higher score wins the competition.
Yours sincerely
I.S.F.D N°30 Productions
I really liked the idea of the show! I used to be a Britney Spears fan and I would have looooved to re-create the "Oops... I did it again" video. But I wouldn't have dyed my hair blonde and I wouldn't do it now neither; so I believe it would be nicer to improve one's appearance (and hence, keeping individuality) rather than tranforming to look like someone else. Apart from that, what if a "Belieber" girl casts for your show? Would you transform her into Justin? That would be something really funny to see! Hahaha.
ReplyDeleteNow, considering your writing style, I believe that the first sentence is not well expressed. From what is written there I interpret that you are intending to fill some empty space that is in between -or among- the teenagers. Which gap is there? I think that it would have been better to refer to the programming of the channel.
Again, I enjoyed the thought of watching a show like this. Great work people!
I also would like to see a "Belieber" being tranformed into Justin! Or what's more, to see Directioners being transformed into One Direction band.
ReplyDeleteAs regards participants, why is it that you have decided as possible participants teenagers from "12 to 18"? Perhaps it would have been a good idea to have two different age categories like "12 to 18" and "19 to 24 or 25". All in all, I enjoyed the idea of the kids or young adults being transformed into their favourite singer or band.
Concerning style, I think that apart from writing the name of Mr. Yankelevich you may want to add the address of the TV Company or some other detail as a zip code or the name of the city, etc. Perhaps you did it on purpose or you didn't realize it.
To conclude, I repeat myself by saying that I would like to see a "Belieber girl" being transformed into Justin, as well as Directioners being transformed into One Direction band! Ha, Ha, Ha!
I don´t know if you saw her. But when Biever gave the infamous concert, a girl (not a teenager but older), who is the president of a fans club, looked exactly like him!! Same haircut and everything. Wait everything from today´s youth!!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou're right! I've seen her on some pictures in someone's facebook. The girl looked EXACTLY like him, and it really impressed me how well she managed to get his appearance.
DeleteLadies: I really love your project, I think it is a mix of "tu cara me suena" and real people, I mean, common people. I consider it is an interesting tv show and I would like to see it. I agree with the title and the format of the tv proposal. As regards the letter, in my opinion, it follows the structure of a formal letter and it is clear written.
ReplyDeleteCarolina is right, I have seen that girl who looked exactly as Justin Bieber and...well, maybe I should keep my opinion to myself. I know my musical tastes wouldn't allow me to be objective, lol.
ReplyDeleteRegarding the letter and your writing style, I think that it's really clear and that it goes straight to the point. Great job girls!
I find your project quite interesting. It's a well thought idea to allow teens to express themselves through their favourites singers and bands.
ReplyDeleteIt would be funny to see a male fan of Lady Gaga being transformed into her. You girls have taken into account public participation.
As regards the letter and writing style, I think that it's clear, short and the idea is well explained. Well done girls!
Girls, I think your idea would do pretty well on television! Today that everything revolves around rating numbers, I'm sure that your idea would've succeeded on its task.
ReplyDeleteAs regards writing style, I think that you should've attached the first sentences to the first paragraph. It looks a bit weird standing there alone. And maybe you could've enlarged your paragraphs by trying to persuade Yankelevich a bit more. Anyway, those are little details, and the idea is very persuasive itself.